The Day I Cried In Debenhams

 

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The day I cried in Debenhams...

Tomorrow night is the first Wakefield Retail Awards, and Created in Yorkshire has reached the finals! How fab is that? We've only been a team for nine months and here we are preparing a 'just in case' speech for, well, just in case we win! Yay! A great, and very justifiable excuse for a cheeky little night out. And to swap my daily uniform of jeans, a t-shirt and either pumps or Birkis depending on the weather, for something lovely, pretty and grown up! It turns out that our Boss Lady's on holiday and won't be able to make the event, so yours truly has been tasked with saying a few words if they're needed. And our local newspaper, the Wakefield Express, is organising the awards so you can be fairly sure there'll be some snaps in next week's paper. Dress pressure!

I have tried everywhere I can think of to find a dress. Actually, that's not strictly true, but I have tried absolutely everywhere that sells dresses a) in my size, b) suitable for an evening event, and c) in my budget, which in all honesty is not that much more than a fiver! I have ordered online but wasn't happy with the sizing, trawled every rail in the outlet village for a special dress at an extra special price, and today it was time for me to hit the high street.

In the past, I've had some unexpected and fantastic finds in the clothing department at the supermarket, so I dropped Beatrix and Jasper at school and started there. Asda was always a long shot, and turned out to be fruitless. Have you ever tried the Gok Wan range in Sainsbury's? I've seen some really nice pieces, particularly around Christmas, but I had no luck there either. So on to Next. Neither of the dresses I'd seen out of stock in their directory were in stock in store. And on and on and on and on I went, visiting every clothes shop in Trinity Walk that met my three criteria.   

At 10.15, I wandered into Debenhams, pushchair and all. (Did I forget to mention that I had Abel with me? And that he was a bit fussy, clearly having inherited the anti-shopping gene from both of his parents?) It was bonkers - there must have been close to 300 dresses to look at. How many dresses can you actually consider before you go dress blind, I wonder? Definitely not that many, so I took my chance and accosted a store assistant as she walked passed. Our little exchange went like this... 
Me: "Excuse me, do you work in ladies wear?" She did. "I could do with a bit of help; do you have five minutes?"
 Her: "Yes, of course! What are you looking for?"
Me: "Well, I'm going to an awards evening tomorrow (her eyes widened slightly, clearly recognising the panic of the last-minute dress purchase), the shop I'm part of has made it to the finals of the Wakefield Retail Awards, and I haven't anything to wear that fits and, and, and..."

That's when it happened: my eyes started leaking. Boiling hot blobs of salt water sploshed from my eyes and down my reddening cheeks. And they were the extra large tears that do indeed splosh, not the dainty type that well up in the corners of your eyes first, giving you chance to catch them with a well-timed Kleenex.

Me: "Oh, no! Now I'm crying! I don't know how this happened, I don't even cry when things die."
Her: "Stop, please don't make me laugh, because it will turn into tears and I'll be joining you! Right, don't panic. We will get you sorted. I'm going to get the keys for the Personal Shopper booth and take you in there. You can be calm, the little fella can run around and we'll get you a dress."
Me: "Thank you. I feel so stupid. It's just a dress. I don't know why I'm doing this..."
Her: "Listen, it's all going to be fine. The panic's setting in, but we're going to get you sorted. Go for a wander around and I'll come and find you when I've got the keys."
And off she went, all sympathetic eyes and really calm demeanour.

I trotted around with the pushchair for a couple of minutes and picked up two dresses from the teary blur around me before the calm, kind lady returned to collect me and whisked me off to a room about the size of my bedroom, complete with a sofa, scatter cushions and plush velvet curtains. We talked a little about what I like - I explained that I feel good about my small waist but everything else needs hiding or disguising - and I accidentally gave her a potted life history. Whoops! Have you ever done that? Found yourself inexplicably pouring your heart out to a stranger? It's not something I make a habit of, to be honest, but the calm, kind lady just let it happen, as if it's par for the course during her Friday morning at work!

I gave her a bit (okay, a lot!) of background to me coming out of teaching and how I ended up sewing and running a little business and then becoming part of Created In Yorkshire, and she explained that she'd also made some big changes to stay home to raise her son when she became a mum, and it helped that she knew where I was coming from. Then she told me her name was Sue and she left the room to collect a few dresses as a baseline and I felt like I'd been touched by the hand of serenity, seriously! You know that scene in Grease when Frenchie's guardian angel is singing 'Beauty School Drop Out' and everything looks all dreamy and soft-focus and she forgets her crazy pink hair mistake and the horrors of being a drop out? That private changing room was like that! Abel and I had a snack, played a few game of hide-and-seek behind the curtains and I was calm again, the tears of minutes earlier forgotten.

Sue's first run returned a bounty of four dresses to get an idea of shape, length and neckline and I tried them while she popped off to round up some more. It was fun! I don't remember the last time I had fun shopping for clothes, but it was definitely before I had three babies in four years, and probably when I wore matching underwear every day!

As Sue popped in and out with more dresses, some shoes to help with the overall look, and some jackets and cardigans for cover-up options, we had a few more little chats and I learned that she's already a big fan of Created In Yorkshire. She reminded me that if we win tomorrow, the people I will have to stand in front of are no different to the thousands of children and parents I stood before in my time as a teacher, and that all of the people there - even the big wigs from the more established finalists - were once children themselves. I just need to harness my inner speaker and bring her out again.

Without boring you with any more of the little details, something special happened today. Sue The Dress Lady really moved me, she gave me a different take on things and I came away with a bit of an identity, something which has been lost for a long time. She made me realise that I'm not my twenty-something, carefree self, that I'm not the suited teacher, nor am I the old island girl on the beach. But that's okay. It's okay to be a mum and businesswoman and a maker. It's okay to wear practical jeans and t-shirts every day. And it's definitely okay to wear something a bit more classy and grown up to an occasion, something that won't blow the budget like it would have eight or ten years ago, because there are other priorites now and my riches are somewhere else.

I did buy a dress in the end. It's a grown up number that I hope I'll get lots of wear out of. I wasn't swayed by the price, or the brand, or my own idea of what suits me, and I feel quite nice in it! There was a massive bonus of a 50% discount today, too, which I didn't know until I got to the till. Huzzah!

Today I cried in Debenhams. Today I was removed from the shop floor to a semi-padded room by Sue the retail angel and I almost enjoyed clothes shopping. Today Sue gave me back a piece of myself and I became a bit more comfortable with who I am now instead of missing the someone I used to be. Today I took a great step in accepting myself, and I liked it.

I suggested to Sue, in all seriousness, that she considers a career change to some kind of life coach, but in between time, I'll be sure to commend her customer service to the store manager and be ever glad of the help she gave me today.

(All the dresses pictured are from a selection available online and in store at Debenhams. I tried all of these and more on!)

And now I'd like to know. Did you ever get big help from somewhere or someone unexpected?

The confessions of a cobbler

 

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My name is Catherine and I'm a cobbler...

The mojo went. I don't know where to, but it definitely left the building. My best bet is that the baby stole it. Wherever it went, I can see it on the horizon and I'm trying to persuade to come back and stay a while. 

I thought that a special project for my own children might entice it back, so I'm experimenting; I've ordered the materials, and I almost have a pattern I can use. It's an idea I've been contemplating for a while and one I know that Beatrix and Jasper will love if I can get it all to come together, so why didn't I make it sooner? The truth is, makes for my poor babies have been repeatedly put on the back burner since I started Hop Stitch Jump, and even more so since I've been juggling the baby in the equation. I rarely seem to be able to coincide the time and the inclination to make for pleasure.

The irony is that I started making children's gifts as thrift measure, but now I spend my time at the sewing machine making for paying customers because they put food on my table, and I end up buying presents for my own little guys!

A beautiful castle on a sunny day - not embroidered by Mummy.

It seems I'm not on my own. I'm part of a couple of small business networks, one of which is Yorkshire-based and bursting at the seems with crafters of all disciplines, from metal workers to ceramicists, and fine artists to cake decorators. The members all say the same thing: once your hobby becomes your work, it's no longer your hobby! There's a wonderful landscaper and garden designer in the group who's embarrassed by the state of her own lawn and flower beds. There's a lady who makes the most beautiful cushions for children and who, thanks to an order book that's full until next summer, hasn't had time to make one for her own son. How about the fashion designer who spent the day before her holiday frantically sewing to make clothes for her own suitcase? And here I am, with a boy without a superhero cape, a girl who needs a new hairclip holder and a giant pile of their drawings that I keep putting to one side ready to create my own gallery of Doodlebroidery.

Little notes everywhere!

It really is true: the cobbler's children go barefoot!

So here I declare, publicly, that I will make my children a mail centre in time for Christmas. I will, honest! It will have a beautiful post bag, a plethora of letters and more than one place to deliver to. I will do it because they adore playing postie and I adore them. I'll do it because they love writing notes and drawing pictures for us and finding places to leave them. I will do it because it's the game that they play most nicely together and it will make them so happy. I'll make it because I owe it to my children. You know why I'll really be making the cobbler's children some shoes though, don't you? Yup, because I've told you I will, and I know you'll crack the whip!

If Daddy were a dinosaur. Again, not transformed
into Doodlebroidery by the cobbler!

Out with the old and in with the new - the one with loads of bits and bobs to talk about!

 

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Out with the old and in with the new - the one with loads of bits and bobs to talk about!

Well, it came and went - I trust you all had a peaceful Christmas and have had a happy start to the new year! 

Ours was lovely. We started on Christmas Eve with our (now traditional) trip to the panto with friends and a yummy lunch that I didn't cook; it was fabulous! The pantomime was a brilliantly entertaining version of Cinderella, performed by Far Out Theatre at Holmfirth Picturedrome. The stars of the show were without doubt Munter and Minger, Cinderella's ugly sisters, whose crazy flamboyance kept the kids giggling while their cheeky innuendo kept the adults entertained, too. There is something really special about a Christmas Eve performance that gets everyone ready for the festivities, and the offering from Far Out Theatre was so good that we will do our very best to get tickets for next year's show. Oh crikey, I mean this year's show don't I? Wowsers, 2012 already!  

An ugly sister, my best big girl, Prince Charming and Buttons.
Oh, yes they are!  :)

After the panto, we went next door to The Old Bridge for lunch. The party atmosphere in the theatre made for an extended show and we arrived for lunch much later than our reservation. Thankfully, the dining room was almost empty so the children were able to play and burn off some of the energy they'd be storing during Cinderella!  The last time we ate at The Old Bridge was the day after our wedding party and it was hard not to reflect on the differences between the two days: I seem to remember there being a great deal of sunshine, alcohol and grown-up conversations that moved smoothly and completely in the Summer of 2006, whereas the Winter of 2011 found me as sober as a judge, heavily pregnant with Number Three and scrabbling around on my hands and knees to play cars with kids while snatching snippets of conversation wherever I could!

My rascals with the bounty from their stockings <3

Christmas Day itself was the usual whirl of visitors and excited children, followed by dinner on our own for the first time since 2006. It was very strange to only be feeding four, but it was surprisingly peaceful and really lovely to have time to enjoy the day with our small people and the explosion of plastic that happened when we weren't looking! I didn't work at all in the week between Christmas and New Year, and so I brought in 2012 feeling quite refreshed and rejuvenated.We had a Noon Year's Eve party for the Small People and some close friends, followed by a lazy evening with a little sofa snooze while I waited for Jools Holland to do his stuff!

And here it is - 2012 in full throttle. Trimmings down, done! Back to school, done! Tying up the odds and ends for work, nearly done! Which just leaves the baby to get ready for. In four weeks, or thereabouts, we should be meeting Baby Number Three. It's so exciting for us all and although we have loads of stuff to get ready physically, we're definitely all looking forward to welcoming a new member of the family and ready to meet him/her.   I just have one little niggle...work.

Dinosaur hoody for a little man
who'sdelighted with it!

2011 was a great one for Hop Stitch Jump and Sock Monsters, and I even managed to do a little better than stay afloat. I learned some really cool stuff, launched some (I think) ace products, worked some ridiculous hours, and still got to spend loads of time with my Small People. I made at least 220 Sock Monsters (with some emergency last-minute help from some amazing people!), 40 superhero capes, about 80 pairs of hair clips, 21 hairclip holders, 15 dinosaur hoodies, 6 name plaques and 12 pieces of Doodlebroidery. Or close to that, anyway! All-in-all, it was harder than I expected but also more successful, so the balance was in my favour. Now my maternity leave is just around the corner though, I'm finding it tricky to stop all together.

An apron made for a Grandma
affectionately known as "Poppet!"

It's not that I've changed completely and want to work more than I want to be home with our new family, it's just that taking maternity leave from my own business feels really different from taking leave from another job. I've never lost track of the reason that I work nights or of the benefits of juggling fledgling humans and a fledgling business. When you are "employed," you know that your job will be held open while you're on maternity leave and that you are entitled to a proper break from work, but when you're "self-employed," and especially when you're a sole trader who has no employees to keep things ticking over in your absence, it's frightening to let go for a few months for fear of there being nothing to return to! Is it feasible that a business can be put on hold after a successful first year without there being serious detriment? For my tiny business that relies on social networking to communicate with customers and potential customers, how hard will it be to rebuild relationships with my followers and fans?

The Doodlebroidery created for the winner of my
December competition. Please see my FB page
for the original drawing and more examples.

The feedback I've received since Christmas from my customers and the people they gave gifts to has been phenomenal. It's so lovely to know that people like and enjoy my work.  Like most people I find it hard to sing my own praises and I pick over the tiniest imperfections in my work - the influx of positivity has come at a great time for me and Hop Stitch Jump. It's also given me a real boost and the confidence to think that maybe, just maybe, there might be a "proper" long-term future in this or something that evolves from this. I guess for that I'll have to wait and see! What I do know is that I'll be making the most of the days that I can work while on maternity leave (10 "Keeping In Touch" days as allowed by Government regulations) and hoping that when I return in the late Summer/Autumn I won't have to pick up from the very beginning all over again. Fingers crossed!

I've also had to do some serious rationalising and soul searching, and I know I'm going to have to consider the future of Sock Monsters.  It seems that since I first started making my favourite inanimate critters, their popularity has exploded exponentially.  Without eating too much into a topic broad enough for a blog entry of its own, there are so many "hobbyists" now who can make and sell sock creatures for prices much lower than I can charge. I am 100% confident that I source and use the very best materials. I am meticulous in my development and making and I pay for quality, from the socks to the super-safe stuffing, from the time I take to double-stitch by hand to colour-coordinated gift wrapping for every order. I run a legitimate business through proper channels and I incur expenses in line with that. Unfortunately, potential customers don't always see that and with times being as they are right now, price is often the only comparison that's made. Hmmm...food for thought for sure.

And there we have it - the end of one year and the start of a new one! Thanks to the great reception I've had so far, there is much promise for Hop Stitch Jump, but this year will bring its own, new challenges. Ooh-er missus, how will it all pan out? xx